Bad Dates Have I Known: The Man Who Did Not Think I Was Funny

The only thing that saved me from going utterly insane while I was dating was my vanity. When people didn’t like me, I thought they were teh stupid. Specifically, I can recall an incident with one person who did not think that I was in the least bit funny. This caused me to thinkContinue reading “Bad Dates Have I Known: The Man Who Did Not Think I Was Funny”

When You Least Expect It

My friend Gina says she likes telling me things because I’m a good listener. My theory is that this means that I’m overly interested in other people’s business, and fully aware that I have no idea what anyone should do in any situation, so I don’t offer much in the way of advice. Another reasonContinue reading “When You Least Expect It”

What I’ve Learned From Online Dating

As you know, I’m doing the currently. This is not a terribly new or exciting thing, and is pretty much my go-to when I’m not already dating someone and am too busy to go out every night of the week. I’m having a lot more fun this time around, though, and I think it’sContinue reading “What I’ve Learned From Online Dating”

Hard to Believe I’m Single

me: roooooooosss rooooo kangaroossss roooonsRoss: you out to get me? invisibly? hi thereme: rooooo i had to go invisible i’m being stalked. not in a fun way not with the great charm with which i’m stalking you Ross: oh damn. you got t o make the joke before i did. he’s still sticking to itContinue reading “Hard to Believe I’m Single”

Being Dumped Is a Talent

Me: OK, listen: If that’s the way you feel about it, I’m only going to ask you for one thing. Him: Anything. Me: A year from now, when you realize you’ve made the BIGGEST MISTAKE OF YOUR LIFE, promise me you’ll call me. I’ll put you on speaker. From my new boyfriend’s bed. This actuallyContinue reading “Being Dumped Is a Talent”

What Does It Take … to Get a Drink in This Place?

Me: This guy at the end of the bar is trying to get me to take him home with me. Aaron: He’s a good-looking guy. Me: You know, the thing is … it’s depressingly easy. I’m not trying to be a jerk. I don’t think it means anything. Aaron: My uncle told me a storyContinue reading “What Does It Take … to Get a Drink in This Place?”

Even More Random Than Usual

My weekend, in bullet form: I did my taxes. I’m actually getting money back, which never happens. I’m not sure why. Everyone else I know takes their refunds and buys a small Caribbean island with them. I went to three birthday parties. I will definitely need that tax refund now. There were a lot ofContinue reading “Even More Random Than Usual”