Being Dumped Is a Talent

Me: OK, listen: If that’s the way you feel about it, I’m only going to ask you for one thing.

Him: Anything.

Me: A year from now, when you realize you’ve made the BIGGEST MISTAKE OF YOUR LIFE, promise me you’ll call me. I’ll put you on speaker. From my new boyfriend’s bed.

This actually passes as maturity for me.

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9 thoughts on “Being Dumped Is a Talent

  1. The new man in your bed will also have the body of Michael Phelps, be a staff writer on the Colbert Report, AND have a healthy relationship with alcohol. He exists!

    In all ways, you are the winner. Most of all, however, you are the winner of the best retort that came out of your mouth at the time it was happening as opposed to five minutes later.

    Much respect.

  2. Hello, much neglected pals of mine, and thank you for the good wishes! I have neglected you shamefully. I have an excuse. I’ve been working a ton/growing freckles on the beach in equal measure.

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