Even More Random Than Usual

My weekend, in bullet form:

  • I did my taxes. I’m actually getting money back, which never happens. I’m not sure why. Everyone else I know takes their refunds and buys a small Caribbean island with them.
  • I went to three birthday parties. I will definitely need that tax refund now. There were a lot of cabs. Also, last night I wound up in a gay go-go bar at four in the morning. You know it’s time to go home when it doesn’t even seem odd that the waiter is not wearing pants.
  • I am exhausted today, predictably.
  • Back to the cabs. Cab drivers love me. They want to marry and impregnate me. They want to move to Brooklyn with me and start a car service. Of the four cab rides I took this weekend, two drivers chatted me up in some fashion. This is a pretty consistent percentage.
  • If you combine my magical cab driver seducing powers with my tendency to attract younger men, it becomes obvious that I will eventually marry a 23-year-old cabbie.
  • I will make him give you free rides places, but only if you’re very drunk.

That’s it for now. Hope everyone else had a lovely weekend as well.

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4 thoughts on “Even More Random Than Usual

  1. Hey I know an oft-pantless 23 year old waiter who owns a luxury condo in sheepshead bay and drives a cab part time. Want I give him your number?

  2. Just make sure your cabbie is suddenly sportin a Mowhawk and calling you an “angel.” Stick with the goofy ones.

    “Each night when I return the cab to the garage, I have to clean the cum off the back seat. Some nights, I clean off the blood.” Travis Bickle

    “America’s a tough town.” Latka Gravas

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