What It’s Like to Apply for Health Insurance in 2013

In October 2011, I got laid off. It was a department-wide layoff, and I was definitely the most excited person in the room. I was doing math while HR spoke to us about not coming back to the office drunk and kicking over desks. By the end of the HR director's Office Space routine, I'd …

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The White Rabbit

If you want to see me really flip out, wait until I miss an appointment. It'll be a long wait, because it doesn't happen all that often. However, when it does, I lose human form and turn into a horrible shrieking weep-beast. So if that's your favorite thing, hang around. The weep-beast has made an …

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My Life With Anxiety: When the Lion Is in the Room

My grandmother used to say, "You were the most nervous baby I've ever seen." My grandmother (who was a ferocious and elegant 90-pound lady, like Lillian Hellman and Lauren Bacall had a baby and dressed it in tasteful separates and a hair helmet, and oh God, I miss her so much) looked concerned when she …

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Day 24 of the Fast Metabolism Diet: I Have No Idea What I Weigh Now

There's a scale at my folks' house, but it's so inaccurate, my parents set it to minus five pounds to make up the difference. The issue is that my dad is six feet tall and strapping, and my mom is so small, she could make a matchbox her bed. The end result is that the …

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