Wisdom From teh Webernets

Me: I find it really annoying that women don’t put their birth years down on their facebooks. Coworker Dennis: Why? Me: Because it’s dumb, that’s why. Also, I want to know if [redacted] looks good for her age. Coworker Dennis: She’s 27. Me: How do you know?Coworker Dennis: All women are 27. The entire worldContinue reading “Wisdom From teh Webernets”

Coworker Dennis Puts It Succinctly

Me: So, how do we feel about the fact that a boy I went on one date with just wrote to me on MySpace to ask me to go to the Netherlands with him over Thanksgiving?Coworker Dennis: Um.Me: Yeah. Keep in mind that this one date? Was six months ago. Coworker Dennis: ‘No, I don’tContinue reading “Coworker Dennis Puts It Succinctly”

I’ve Been Coasting on This for Years

Coworker Dennis: i hate christopher hitchensJennie Smash: me tooJennie Smash: but why do you hate him today?Jennie Smash: because he’s a self-hating homo?Jennie Smash: because he gives drunks a bad name?Jennie Smash: there are so many reasonsCoworker Dennis: because Slate is willing to publish an article all about why he doesn’t like someoneJennie Smash: ok,Continue reading “I’ve Been Coasting on This for Years”

Coworker Dennis Has an Answer for Everything

JennieSmash: Meanwhile, since I’ve started working out again, I am gaining weight. I’m sure it’s muscle, but it’s annoying. CoworkerDennis: You are just becoming She-Ra. It’s a natural part of growing up. JennieSmash: Ha ha ha.JennieSmash: Oh, awesome. CoworkerDennis: That’s you on the right. JennieSmash: Oh my God, there I am.JennieSmash: With my FACE WINGS.

Big Plans for the Weekend

Coworker Dennis: Ugh, I’m still at work. Tell me about your plans, so that I can live through you. Me: Actually, I think I’m staying in. Coworker Dennis: I don’t believe you. Me: Believe! My friend Adrian just called and was all “come to this party and that party,” but I seriously feel like IContinue reading “Big Plans for the Weekend”