Coworker Dennis has been looking at condos lately, and I’ve been going with him, because everyone should have a fake wife to alternately play good cop/demand to know what this maintenance is for, anyway.
The search has had a salutary effect on his self esteem, as evidenced by the following conversation:
Jennie Smash: are you lunching today?
Coworker Dennis: i have a meeting at 1
JennieSmash: oh poop
Coworker Dennis: so i might run to the post office and get a nasty burrito at qdoba
Coworker Dennis: because buying apartments makes me feel sexy
JennieSmash: oh good for you
Coworker Dennis: and i don’t care as much
JennieSmash: isn’t that great?
Coworker Dennis: it sort of is
Coworker Dennis: like, oh, you don’t want to date me? well you live on 110th street and i’m buying in a big glass pool-filled orgasm palace on the river with the best view on earth
JennieSmash: HA HA HA
JennieSmash: you are actually killing me
Coworker Dennis: yay! mission accomplished