So, I thought I was going to have to go back on antidepressants, but then it turned out I was just getting my period. This happens to me every month, because despite having had my period for 25 years, it always comes as a shock to me. I think this must be related to thatContinue reading “For Some Reason, My Period Is Always a Surprise”
Tag Archives: sgt lucky
The Lucky Channel
Sgt Lucky: (Looking at my foot.) Oh my God. Are you all right? Me: Yeah. It’s just my gross plantar’s wart. Remember? I made you buy the medicine for me and pretend to have the wart yourself. Just like when I wanted to read Twilight and I didn’t want to buy it so I madeContinue reading “The Lucky Channel”
But My Non-Imaginary Friends Are Such Smartasses…
So, my thyroid ultrasound came back and everything looks good: No nodules, no giant tumor with tentacles, not even a goiter. This last is almost too bad, as I had a name for my goiter, and had been running around talking about it like it was a person. “Does that salt have iodine in it?Continue reading “But My Non-Imaginary Friends Are Such Smartasses…”
Watching ‘House’ With Sgt. Lucky
Sgt. Lucky: And here we have another person leaving their life partner while that partner is dying. Me: Yup. Sgt. Lucky: The theme of this show isn’t “Everyone lies.” It’s “Nobody loves you.” A few weeks ago we were watching House and the diagnosis hinged on whether or not the patient was cheating on herContinue reading “Watching ‘House’ With Sgt. Lucky”
Sgt Lucky Is the Adult Around Here
Me: The more I hear about giving birth, the more I think I probably won’t be able to do it. Sgt Lucky: Yes, you will. Me: No, I mean, it seems to take hours and cause sweating. I hate both those things. Also, I’m pretty sure my makeup will run. Sgt Lucky: You’ll look cute.Continue reading “Sgt Lucky Is the Adult Around Here”
Apparently, We Are Now a Lesbian Couple
Me: Are those my pants? Sgt. Lucky: Are they? I couldn’t figure out when I bought them. Me: They totally are! OMG, you’re wearing girl pants. Sgt. Lucky: Actually, I think you were wearing boy pants. Wait – are those my pants? Me: (Looks down guiltily.) What, these? Yes. Yes, they are.
B. A-N-A-N-A-S.
Sgt. Lucky: I have a twitch in my eye. I had one in my leg earlier. Me: You probably need potassium. Eat a banana. Sgt. Lucky: I don’t WANT a banana. Me: Bananas are good for you. Sgt. Lucky: You’re obsessed with bananas. You can’t get me to eat them. I won’t do it! Me:Continue reading “B. A-N-A-N-A-S.”
Sock-Related Wit From Sgt. Lucky
Sgt. Lucky: Are you wearing my socks? Me: Oh. Um. Yes. Yes, I am. Sgt. Lucky: Nooo! You’ll stretch them out. They’re be GIRL-SHAPED. Me: OK, OK. How exactly do socks become girl-shaped? Sgt. Lucky: They get … foot boobs. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why we’re getting married.
Sadie, Sadie, Married Lady
Another thing that happened, while I was away from you: Sgt. Lucky and I got engaged. I actually figured I’d written about this and was aghast to realize that I hadn’t. I guess I forgot that I basically disappeared for a year there, as far as blogging goes. Engagement Day 2009, as it will everContinue reading “Sadie, Sadie, Married Lady”
Jennie Smash 