Sgt. Lucky: Are you wearing my socks?
Me: Oh. Um. Yes. Yes, I am.
Sgt. Lucky: Nooo! You’ll stretch them out. They’re be GIRL-SHAPED.
Me: OK, OK. How exactly do socks become girl-shaped?
Sgt. Lucky: They get … foot boobs.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why we’re getting married.