Sgt. Lucky: I have a twitch in my eye. I had one in my leg earlier.
Me: You probably need potassium. Eat a banana.
Sgt. Lucky: I don’t WANT a banana.
Me: Bananas are good for you.
Sgt. Lucky: You’re obsessed with bananas. You can’t get me to eat them. I won’t do it!
Me: Wait. Since when don’t you like bananas?
Sgt. Lucky: Since you tried to FORCE me to EAT them.
Me: (Laughing.) When was that?
Sgt. Lucky: All the time! IT’S ALL YOU EVER TALK ABOUT ANYMORE.
Sgt. Lucky: (Nearly giggling now, although in a very manly fashion.) I beg you, I plead. “Please,” I say. “Any other topic of conversation. Anything but bananas.” But no.
Sgt. Lucky: I tell you that I love you! I whisper endearments! I tell you that you’re the only one for me! And what do I get in return? Bananas. Well, I don’t want any.
I obviously have no choice but to start smuggling them into his lunch.