…but I’m doing it anyway. Where is my prize? Since I started this whole “write every day for a month” thing, I haven’t really had a day where I felt super foot-draggy over writing. So I guess I was due. In general, I think I could use a rest, and that’s why today is soContinue reading “I Don’t Feel Like Writing Today…”
If I had been as productive before I had a baby as I am now, I would have written five books by now. But for some reason, this level of multitasking requires a baby. If you give me 15 minutes, I can clear a sink full of dishes, wash and sterilize six bottles, or emptyContinue reading “I Cleaned My House This Week and That’s a Big Deal”
So, that sucked. I’m sitting here on the couch with a baby in my lap, one tit out, and all of the mango slices we just bought. I’m going to sit here, feeding my lovely lamprey, eating expensive fruit right out of the container, and call everyone I know, starting with my senators. I feelContinue reading “I Am Eating All the Mango, for Tomorrow, We May Die. (OK, Not Us. But Democracy, Anyway.)”
Just about seven weeks ago now, I had a baby, and I’ve been meaning to write something about all of that, but it turns out that’s it’s hard to get much done when you’re trying to keep a newborn alive. However, right now Baboo’s dad is bathing her and I’m hiding in the living room,Continue reading “So, I Had a Baby”
Things are much better for women than they used to be. For instance, I’m not property, no matter what Donald Trump’s lawyer thinks.
You sense my pain and want to do something to make it stop. Internet advice probably isn’t going to do it.
Ladies of the earth, in order to move forward, I fully believe we must take inspiration from menfolks, and demand that our needs be met. For starters, we deserve to have our physical pain taken seriously, and not ignored like the natural consequence of our wombs roaming free all over our bodies. For example, everyContinue reading “Then You Must Fight the Bear”
Every so often, my brain shorts out toward the end of my work day, and I fall into an internet hole and find poetry at the bottom. This Wikipedia entry on terms that don’t translate is possibly the ultimate example of one of those holes. A few examples: cafuné: Brazilian Portuguese. The act of fondlingContinue reading “Terms Considered Difficult or Impossible to Translate Into English”
Dear Con Edison, I recently received, via my internet mailbox, a helpful missive from you entitled “9 Tips to Stay Cool in the Heat.” I used to compose email newsletters for one of my thousands of jobs, and so I was surprised and impressed at the helpful information contained in your message, which included suchContinue reading “So You’re in Hell: 9 More Things You Can’t Do in This Christing Heat”
Obviously inspired by this genius Tumblr. 1. My hairpins are the wrong kind, and won’t stick into my bun easily on the first try. 2. Adam found out that “Ace Ventura: Pet Detective” had allusions to Sherlock Holmes. I hate “Ace Ventura.” 3. I found a typo on a second read of something I wasContinue reading “Things That Will Apparently Make Me Cry When I Have PMS”