I’m too lazy to find it, but a couple months back, a commenter mentioned that I’ll probably freak out when I reach menopause, because I love talking about my period so much. I’m hoping this isn’t true. My Mom seems to have enjoyed being free of her lady time. She celebrated with buying all newContinue reading “More Info Than You Requested”
…if birth control pills gave 80-year-old men erections, they would be distributed for free at every clinic, doctor’s office, and pharmacy across this great nation of ours. Instead, I just had to pay fifty goddamn American dollars (or 11 Euros) for my baby-go-ways, because my health insurance hates vag. Or something like that. There wasContinue reading “Not an Original Observation, But…”
This is where you need to go to get all those last-minute gifts on your list. You’re welcome. In other news, I’m probably finally going to go to the cracker farm, because I’ve been cooped up in my apartment all weekend fighting with something that Ma Smash claims is the Norwalk virus. I thought thatContinue reading “Service Journalism”
Me: My uterus hurts. Matthew: My face hurts. Me: Is your face shedding giant chunks of coagulated blood? Matthew: You win!
“What is up, G. Money? It’s … me. It’s, um, 6:40 and I’m calling you. I am primarily eating cookies and menstruating. Also watching Psychic Detectives. So … if you call me, I’ll most likely be here. OK … bye!”
Because I am a bad person, very few things amuse me more than making men uncomfortable when I have my period. A few moments ago, at Duane Reade, I got to do just that to a clerk who clearly has no women in his life whatsoever. Granted, I was in line holding the following items:Continue reading “Oh, Clerks of Duane Reade”