Yes, I Found Another Bed Bug. Why Do You Ask?

I have an idea for a video game, and I think it will be huge. It will feature an exterminator (played by you.) He will do battle with all sorts of pests, starting with, say, fruit flies, and continuing on to roaches and mice, and then finally, at the last levels, rats and bed bugs.Continue reading “Yes, I Found Another Bed Bug. Why Do You Ask?”

Coworker Dennis and I Are Environmentalists

Me: The only solution is to eat cheese, I’ve decided Me: It’s the only option Coworker Dennis: Big buckets of it Coworker Dennis: Giant plastic bags in bed of it Me: No! Not in bed Me: The bugs can’t have any Coworker Dennis: All bug situations make me just want to bomb the place likeContinue reading “Coworker Dennis and I Are Environmentalists”

We Have Bed Bugs. That’s Right: Bed Bugs.

Fucking bed bugs. There are not enough curses on earth. Our home is infested. We feel betrayed, etc. We will probably have to move, auto-defenestrate, scrub ourselves with kerosene and be reskinned. These are the only real options. We found out about our bitey little guests yesterday, when one of them popped up on Sgt.Continue reading “We Have Bed Bugs. That’s Right: Bed Bugs.”