Jennie Smash

My husband has lost three pounds on this diet so far. The only problem is, he’s not on it. Also, he doesn’t need to lose weight. He is, however, eating what I cook, and that seems to be making a difference.

A lesser wife might be annoyed at such a person, but I am a superior kind of wife, and so I only muttered, very lovingly, under my breath for half an hour or so when I discovered his weight loss. I would be the last person to point out that he’s still eating pizza twice a week for lunch and puts cheese on everything. I would never complain like that to you about life’s unfairness.

I have heard, however, that even in couples where both parties have perfectly healthy metabolisms, if one of the parties is male, he loses weight faster. I guess if both halves of the couple are male, and neither has metabolic issues, they just have a metabolism-off.

“I lost three pounds just by thinking about giving up cheese!”

“I had a lite beer and now I fit in my swimsuit from college.”

It’s possible that I am slightly bitter. But perhaps when all of this is done, I, too, will have an amazing metabolism. I promise if that happens, I will only use my powers for good.

Flickr: sanchom/Flickr