So, in order for this whole experiment thing to work, I might have to stop weighing myself, at least for the month. I originally thought I’d be fine with my usual routine, which is weighing myself first thing every morning, after I take a pee, so as to be as light as humanly possible. But I forgot about the second part of the ritual, which is cursing at the scale, and then, eventually, myself. I think we can agree that this is not in the spirit of the thing we’re doing.
Although it is kind of funny, when I really started listening for negative messages after years of not paying much attention to whatever comes out of my mouth. Apparently, I’ve been cussing myself out for years, which could explain a few of these self esteem issues I’ve been struggling with.
I’m not quite at the point where I can do the whole “look in the mirror and recite affirmations” deal, due to it seeming overly, uh, dorky. But I can stop, for example, sucking my teeth, then blowing all the air out of my lungs while hissing, “GROSS. THAT IS GROSS.” This is what happens lately when I get on a scale. So I shall abstain for the time being.