I spent part of this evening watching Sgt. Lucky play L.A. Noire, which I could have sworn was a movie at one point, but I was wrong.
At one point in the game, one of the detectives discovers a body with tracks in his arm, and says something to the effect of, “Guess that was bound to happen anyway.”
I turned to Sgt. Lucky and said, “I’m really glad I’ve lived my life in such a way that no one would ever stand over my body and say something like that.”
Really: That knowledge, and clean underpants. Together, they’re better than a clean conscience and Ambien for getting a girl to sleep at night. Just kidding! Nothing’s better than Ambien.