Turkey Day With Ma Smash

So, I’m sitting on the sofa in the Boston office (Ma Smash’s house), working on my laptop, when all of a sudden a horrid noise starts up by the window just behind our heads. It seriously sounded like a hammer, or maybe the hook man trying to get in.

TAP TAP TAP.

Me: What is that?

TAP TAP TAP.

Me: What the fuck is that?

Ma Smash: (Laughing uproariously.) You OK? You all right?

Me: Seriously. Is that Dad? Is he tapping on the window?

Ma Smash:
No, that’s my woodpecker.

Me: Your woodpecker?

Ma Smash:
Live in the city much?

Me: Jesus, that’s terrifying. I thought we were going to be killed.

Ma Smash: Let me get this straight: You’re not afraid of the toothless mumbling homeless person on your corner, but you’re afraid of a woodpecker?

Me: It made a noise! A loud noise! On your house!

Ma Smash:
Congratulations. You live in the right place.

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