Jennie Smash

I got a complaint the other day from one of my twelve loyal readers that I haven’t said much about the ol’ love life lately. I assume that this is because this guy is in a relationship and is longing for gossip from the dating world.

I don’t do a lot of gossiping about dating, because I’d like to be able to continue dating, and also, less selfishly, because it seems kinda mean to reveal everyone’s secrets on the Internets.

I will tell you though, without getting specific, that I’ve been very amused lately by the number of dudes who think it’s appropriate to ask young ladies about their quote-unquote fantasies. I assume porn is to blame for this, although to be fair, I blame porn for a lot of stuff I don’t like about the culture lately, like totally depilitated lady forests and hypersexualized twelve-year-olds.

Fortunately, I have an answer to this question now. When a guy asks me to tell him my fantasies, I will now reply, “I fantasize – all the time, like, night and day – about doing it in, you know, a regular way. And then – this is the hot part – we totally go to brunch and get eggs.”

Come on. Who doesn’t like brunch?