So, I have insomnia. My theory is that if I’m away from my computer for more than five hours, it trips some sort of inner alarm and I have to get up and check my email. Which is what I do, when I wake up at 4 a.m. and can’t get back to sleep.
Checked my email just now and discovered that some kid in New Jersey wrote to me on MySpace last night, twice. Now, I don’t write back to random MySpace solicitations, because I’m a girl. As a general rule, we internal Americans of the hetero persuasion* do not find online come-ons particularly attractive.
This was funny, though. The first message had the headline “hey” and read:
“i think your hot message back”
The writer? Was 19 years old. Dude, I didn’t like dating (or even, you know, “dating”) 19-year-olds when I was 19. Now that don’t have to anymore, I don’t think I will, etc.
Anyway, shortly after, when I failed to respond, he wrote back. The headline? “Hey,” once again. The message:
“y dont u message back? do u like young dick?”
Secretly, I think he’s a cop working out of the Sex Crimes unit in Jersey City. But maybe I watch too much SVU. Anyway, uh, no.
*TM Anne Lamott