I’ve been on a few dates lately with an outdoorsy sort of fellow. What he sees in me is anyone’s guess.
Him: I really like camping.
Me: Like, outside?
Me: Where the animals are?
Him: Well … yes. But they don’t really bother you, you know. It’s a cliche, but they really are more afraid of you than you are of them.
Me: I’m frightened of squirrels.
Me: Seriously. I had lunch in Madison Square Park the other day, and a squirrel jumped in front of me on the path and did, like, this little back-flip in the air. And then he stared at me, you know? So I screamed and my friends all looked at me like I was crazy. But he could have been rabid! Anyway, he was definitely mean-spirited. He was a vicious attack squirrel!
Him: So … what about hiking?
Me: I live a pretty long way from the train!
And so on. I’m an indoor cat, is my point. My favorite things – reading, writing, drinking beer, worrying, talking about people behind their backs – are all best done in an indoor setting.
Does anyone know of any outdoor-themed bars?
11 thoughts on “Laters for Your "Fresh Air"”
One of my favorite bars had a treehouse up in the back. But it’s been bought a few times, and now they’ve apparently cut down the tree that grew through the floor of the 2nd floor back room. Jerks.
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I just found out caribou coffee has caribou in it. That almost counts.
First we evolved, then created fire, war, plague, war, war, war and now man is at a slightly more civilized area of our existence. Why go back to crapping in a hole we dug ourselves?
closest there is that I know of is Rainforest Cafe. If he camps with gorillas, that’s totally the place.
3 squirrels have made their home on our porch in a Home Depot pale. I used to enjoy sitting on the back porch, but now if I go out they jump out of the pale and bum rush me. I suffer from a recurrent nightmare where they somehow break into my apartment and take my husband hostage for nuts.
Animals don’t bother me as much as insects.
At least you can scare a rabid squirrel with a few stomps and a shout. Trying the same thing with a mosquito just leads to an itchy bite and muddy pants.
Camp is a great bar in Carrol Gardens that has Wood cabin decor, smores and more. It’s actually a really cool bar. And definitely the outdoor theme in effect.
Camping is for refugees.
You know what I like about camping? Nothing.
Actually, whenever I camp–once a year or so–we tend to read, write, drink beer, worry, talk about people behind their backs…so there’s that.
Also- some guys into camping only camp with their friends…you could definitely avoid it if it gets serious.
I agree with jayman: Insects scare the crap out of me.