Hopefully, I’ll have pictures for you all from the big 3-0, but in the meantime, you’ll have to trust me that it was a good time. And if you don’t trust me, trust the proprietress of my neighborhood bodega. This is our conversation the morning after my party:
Proprietress: Do you need anything else?
Me: Just the Vitamin Water.
Proprietress: Do you need a straw?
Me: Nope. I’m just gonna gulp it down.
Proprietress: Oh! Yes! The menopause is awful!
Me: [Crickets.]
Proprietress: [Waving at herself.] It is very bad!
Me: [Waving at myself. Gamely.] Yes. Yes, it’s very bad.
Jennie Smash 
That is fucking awesome. You are 30 after all, it will happen any day now.