Jennie Smash

Someone wrote to me at work the other day to ask if I was dating anyone in particular. This is because I write a daily newsletter, and there’s a reply feature. Also, my picture is on the newsletter, and although I sort of look like I’ve been hit in the head with a board, I am recognizably female, which means that some dude out there in the Land of the Internets wants to date me. Probably more than one.

So, totally unrelated: my friend Dave is an SEO consultant. I’m not really sure what that means either, but the short version appears to be that his paycheck comes from driving traffic to company’s websites using cunning, subterfuge, and scads and scads of Excel spreadsheets. The other day, Dave wrote to me to ask me to link to some of his companies, so that they’d get the full benefit of my twelve readers and the glory that is my Google ranking. But I’m mean and frosty, so I said no.

I don’t even have ads on my site, not because I particularly have a problem with ads, but because I’m lazy. (True story.) But if I did have ads, I’d put ’em outside the posts. Because I love you all and want you to trust me, so that we can build a beautiful relationship full of trust and mild cursing and the occasional thrown ashtray, but I’m sorry baby, I didn’t mean it, you just make me so mad. Ahem.

So if Dave gets fired, I’ll owe him a beer or something, I guess.