Jennie Smash

By

Jen Hubley Luckwaldt

·

I Also Blame the Stupid Diet

Mrs. Piddlington: Poops! I just got your email. Me: I had to call and make sure you were alive. Mrs. Piddlington: That’s awful. Me: I’m never going to sleep watching SVU ever again. Mrs. Piddlington: What happened? Me: A shark ate you. And you were dead. But you didn’t know you were dead. And you…

Mrs. Piddlington: Poops! I just got your email.

Me: I had to call and make sure you were alive.

Mrs. Piddlington: That’s awful.

Me: I’m never going to sleep watching SVU ever again.

Mrs. Piddlington: What happened?

Me: A shark ate you. And you were dead. But you didn’t know you were dead. And you were haunting this beach. Anyway, John had been eaten, too, so at least you weren’t lonely.

Mrs. Piddlington: Wait, did John know we were dead?

Me: (Pause.) Well, yes. We’d sort of agreed we weren’t going to tell you. We were afraid you’d be upset.

Mrs. Piddlington: OK, I’ve got Mom on the other line, so I have to go, but listen: If I get eaten by a shark and I’m dead and I don’t know I’m dead, tell me, OK?

Me: (Doubtfully.) OK…

Mrs. Piddlington: Promise.

Me: OK.

Mrs. Piddlington: OK. I’ll call you later.

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Responses to “I Also Blame the Stupid Diet”

  1. jayman

    She probably should have qualified that statement with “However I die, if I don’t know I’m dead…”

    Because now the only guarantee she has is shark attacks, which are actually quite rare.

    And does this guarantee only apply with hauntings, or would she also be covered if you used your tarot cards or other forms of divination to locate her in the afterlife?

    Reply
  2. Jennie SMASH!

    Jayman! I thought you’d given up your Internet access or something.

    Reply
  3. taptaptara

    sometimes I can totally invision those phone conversations with you guys and it makes me giggle!! 😛 teehee. I’m sure she’d want you to tell her if she were dead, too.

    Reply
  4. taptaptara

    sometimes I can totally invision those phone conversations with you guys and it makes me giggle!! 😛 teehee. I’m sure she’d want you to tell her if she were dead, too.

    Reply
  5. jayman

    Nah, I’ve been visiting as often as ever. DDO has cut down my browse time a good bit, though. Usually it’s just a quick read and then back to adventuring!

    But I figured Megs would want to revise her agreement.

    Reply
  6. Megs

    Thanks for watching out for me, Jayman. You’re right. Now DDO, is that short for Dungeons and Dragons Overtime?

    Reply
  7. jayman

    Online, but Overtime is just as appropriate. :p I used to be a big geek back in the day (used to, ha! Still am. Anyway…) and I played tabletop rpgs as often as I could.

    The computer game isn’t quite as imaginative as pen and paper, but it’s still quite addictive.

    Keep rockin’ sisters.

    Reply
  8. BP

    I heard a rumor that Mother Smash will be starting her own blog. I hope it’s true.

    Please announce the grand opening for us.

    No worries for you. I’m sure your loyal readers will read both blogs rather than abandon you in favor of your mother.

    Reply

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