Ma Smash: Are you cleaning again?
Me: Yup.
Ma Smash: It’s me, isn’t it? You clean when you’re on the phone with me. You’re nesting or something.
Me: Oh, shit.
Ma Smash: What?
Me: Uh, nothing.
Ma Smash: What?
Me: There’s a small cockroach in my bathtub. Just a small one.
Ma Smash: OH MY GOD.
Me: Not a big one, though. Just one of the little ones. (Pause.) And it’s dead.
Ma Smash: JESUS CHRIST. Call the super! You can’t have those.
Me: Oh, it’s not such a big deal. Everyone has them. I mean, sure, at first I was freaked out by them, but now I’m cool. They come up through the drains when you’ve been away for awhile. There’s almost always one when I come home from a trip.
Ma Smash: I cannot believe you live under those conditions.
Me: It’s OK! It’s just a little one.
Ma Smash: Oh, lord.
Me: You should have seen the one on my coffee pot! It was HUGE!
Ma Smash: Well, I’m glad you’re so happy there.
Me: It’s good to be home.
Ma Smash: In your small apartment. With your pet roach.
Me: (Sighing contentedly.) Home, sweet home!
Ma Smash: Maybe we could get you a little leash, and you could walk it.
Jennie Smash 
hehehe, you guys are a hoot. I think you’re on to something Ma Smash, there are millions of cockroaches, and millions of people who have them, so there must be a market for leashes and chew toys somewhere (better the chew toy than your underwear drawr).
hahahaha, i can just picture you now walking your pet roache!!!!oh you guys crack me up!
roaches are gross
You can even bring it back to Boston, and walk it around Jamaica Pond.
You can even bring it back to Boston, and walk it around Jamaica Pond.