Jennie Smash

Keep in mind that, like his Auntie Jennie, he does not photograph well. Also, he’s in a dryer, because my sister is a sick person. However, below you will find a picture of a dog I love so much that I actually let him kiss me on the lips.

I love this damn dog. He’s a Yorkie Poo, which is a cross between a Yorkie, a poodle, and an animatronic teddy bear, and he is an uncontrollable face kisser and horribly behaved. This is what his day is like:

8 a.m. Get up. Whine for Mommy. Go for walk. Poop.

8:15 – 8:17 a.m. Eat prescription dog food that costs more than sushi.

8:18 – 10:00 a.m. Crazy time. This involves running around the house like a maniac at least three full rotations, eating the rug, dragging shoes out of the closet, and sneaking up on anyone who might be on the rug trying to read in order to eat her hair, lick her nose, or jump on her shoulders and yelp.

10:00 – Noon. Nap.

Rest of day. Repeat as necessary.

When I first got there, Meg showed me his pen and crate and explained that if he nipped or pooped inside, he had to go in his pen. This seemed so cruel to me that I refused to report him when he chewed my hand, hair, nose, etc. If he maims a toddler, it is entirely my fault. Also? I love being an auntie. I totally have to convince her to have babies so that I can fill them full of candy and shake them upside down until they barf.