The Cutest Dog in North America

Keep in mind that, like his Auntie Jennie, he does not photograph well. Also, he’s in a dryer, because my sister is a sick person. However, below you will find a picture of a dog I love so much that I actually let him kiss me on the lips.

I love this damn dog. He’s a Yorkie Poo, which is a cross between a Yorkie, a poodle, and an animatronic teddy bear, and he is an uncontrollable face kisser and horribly behaved. This is what his day is like:

8 a.m. Get up. Whine for Mommy. Go for walk. Poop.

8:15 – 8:17 a.m.
Eat prescription dog food that costs more than sushi.

8:18 – 10:00 a.m. Crazy time. This involves running around the house like a maniac at least three full rotations, eating the rug, dragging shoes out of the closet, and sneaking up on anyone who might be on the rug trying to read in order to eat her hair, lick her nose, or jump on her shoulders and yelp.

10:00 – Noon. Nap.

Rest of day. Repeat as necessary.

When I first got there, Meg showed me his pen and crate and explained that if he nipped or pooped inside, he had to go in his pen. This seemed so cruel to me that I refused to report him when he chewed my hand, hair, nose, etc. If he maims a toddler, it is entirely my fault. Also? I love being an auntie. I totally have to convince her to have babies so that I can fill them full of candy and shake them upside down until they barf.

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9 thoughts on “The Cutest Dog in North America

  1. That’s hilarious. He looks like a little devil dog! Irresitable.
    Thanks for the post. It made me laugh out loud – at work – which I always love to do. Keeps those around me wondering just what the hell I’m doing in my cube that’s so god damn funny.

  2. That’s hilarious. He looks like a little devil dog! Irresitable.
    Thanks for the post. It made me laugh out loud – at work – which I always love to do. Keeps those around me wondering just what the hell I’m doing in my cube that’s so god damn funny.

  3. Ok. Puppy in the dryer is not sick it’s friggin’ ADORABLE.

    Have I mentioned I want a puppy? I do. I want a puppy lots.

    Puppies in dryers are almost as great as Panda’s in boxes.

  4. Thanks a lot. I see you are going to be no help when I have children. Puppy has already run all over the house this morning, looking for you, and then he spent fifteen minutes trying to lick my face. Now he is sitting by the fire, wondering why there are no books or hair to chew.

  5. oh my I love that picture and well I’ve always known that your sister is sick but it’s ok right? I can’t wait for you ’til she has a kiddo that you can feed candy. that picture made me giggle and I think I’ve seen it before…

  6. So you met Luke, eh? Has he pooped on your head yet? Because last time I saw him, he pooped on Emma’s head, and he said he enjoyed it so much, he was going to pick it up as a hobby, or perhaps even make it his full-time gig.

  7. He would have survived, and he probably would have stopped chewing on the carpet too;). I’m so happy that you guys came out to visit us, it was the greatest surprise ever. I love you all so much and can’t wait ill we see you in Chicago, New york and Boston this summer.

    All my love on the wings of a DC-10,

    Nelly Woman

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