Jennie Smash

By

Jen Hubley Luckwaldt

·

The Saga of the Cheese

My delivery from FreshDirect arrived today. Only there was no fucking cheese in it. Is this a joke? Am I on camera? Well, I assure you, it’s not funny. You don’t want to get between me and my cheese, FreshDirect. I will take you down. I will beat on you with my meaty, dairy-swollen little…

My delivery from FreshDirect arrived today. Only there was no fucking cheese in it. Is this a joke? Am I on camera? Well, I assure you, it’s not funny. You don’t want to get between me and my cheese, FreshDirect. I will take you down. I will beat on you with my meaty, dairy-swollen little fists and crush you beneath my calcium-dense skeleton. Do not mess with me. You’ll be sorry.

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Responses to “The Saga of the Cheese”

  1. scribbler

    Why don’t you sic your
    ‘hot pirate’ on them?

    Reply
  2. Anonymous

    Fresh Direct is basically a rip off. Alot of their stuff isnt all that fresh, they’re overpriced and have a limited selection. They prey on people wanting the convience of having their groceries deliverd and not having to go to the supermarket. Heres a tip for you some supermarkets including Food Emporium are doing delivery services where you order online and have it delivered and you pay the regular supermarket prices not the jacked up ones like Fresh Direct.

    Reply
  3. taptaptara

    no cheese, what the hell?!?!

    Reply
  4. Anonymous

    I first read that as “hairy, swollen little fists” and thought, man, that JS, she can write. And now I see “dairy swollen” and I liked “hairy, swollen” better. Just saying.

    Reply
  5. jayman

    Is this the same cheese that was missing from your previous delivery?

    Or am I correct in assumiong that your delivery guy is stealing your cheese?

    Reply
  6. jayman

    jayman spel gud. =)

    Reply
  7. jayman

    And a final note (one that apparently a lot of people will appreciate), January 20th is Cheese Day.

    Reply

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