My delivery from FreshDirect arrived today. Only there was no fucking cheese in it. Is this a joke? Am I on camera? Well, I assure you, it’s not funny. You don’t want to get between me and my cheese, FreshDirect. I will take you down. I will beat on you with my meaty, dairy-swollen little fists and crush you beneath my calcium-dense skeleton. Do not mess with me. You’ll be sorry.