Jennie Smash

By

Jen Hubley Luckwaldt

·

Oh, Whatever, They Always Come Back

I just realized what really bothered me about this comment: Who says I was the one who got dumped? I mean, I could have done the dumping. I could be stomping around Manhattan breaking hearts right and left. You don’t know. Now, the fact that I didn’t think to kidnap my ex’s cats beforehand might…

I just realized what really bothered me about this comment: Who says I was the one who got dumped? I mean, I could have done the dumping. I could be stomping around Manhattan breaking hearts right and left. You don’t know.

Now, the fact that I didn’t think to kidnap my ex’s cats beforehand might give you some clue as to how prepared I was for the breakup, but that’s an awful lot of thinking on your part, comment guy, assuming that you don’t know me. Actually, it’s kind of creepy.

Which is why I’ve decided to pretend that that comment was from a vengeful ex-boyfriend who just couldn’t live without me. Not the most recent one. I’m not expecting anonymous hatemail from him for, oh, at least a week or two.

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Responses to “Oh, Whatever, They Always Come Back”

  1. Nelly Woman

    Damn right, I can’t see you as anything less than a heart breaker/soul shaker (and Jimmi would agree). Screw you anonymous ex-of the Smash!

    Reply
  2. lpdrjk

    If you were stomping around Manhattan breaking hearts left and right such “toxic bachelorette” behavior could (and this is just a suggestion) only be enhanced by kidnapping your ex’s cats (or similarly rude acts in the future). I’m sure that other male posters have had ‘experiences’ with this type of individual in the past. This would elevate you into an especially creepy subcategory within that designation, “totally nuts,” which a thankfully departed yet colorful poster would have described as “da bitch stol’ ma fee-lines right outta ma crib.”

    Fortunately (for whom, I wonder?), this would not have been like you at all. You give up your seat to little old ladies on the subway, mourn over the imminent (?) death of household pets and are troubled by the homeless. Examples (taken just from this page because I’m too lazy to scroll through the previous years but the data is conclusive at this point anyway) that, as I’ve said before, demonstrate that you are definitely from out of town. I’d continue along this train of thought but to do so would call for some form of sentimentality on my part and I’d probably break out in hives or something.

    Reply
  3. scribbler

    huh???

    Reply
  4. Anonymous

    That was awesome how Meg jumped in to defend you following that previous post. The truest sign of love in the 21st century: when someone defends after harsh comments are posted on your blog. Ah, technology.

    Reply
  5. jayman

    I think that anonymous poster guy had to be the actual guy in question, stalking you via the internet.

    Admittedly, I don’t remember much when I read (byproduct of pot and opiates no doubt), but I don’t remember you saying that your ex was a cat person, or much at all about him, for that matter, until you (barely) mentioned a breakup.

    I could be wrong. If so, someone point this out to me.

    Reply
  6. Anonymous

    Jennie this is ya ex C.O.pezzy. You should know me I use to come up there all the time (UMASS). I’m the boy how used to like you. But anyway I’m just glad to see you doing your thing with the cats. I really didn’t known you to bring the hate on the exes, I always known you to tick. I just e-mail this to you cause I want you to wax some thing for my chrissmiss about germs and da NYC subwey and shiz. I would like to know if you could do it? So holla at cha girl heart breaker soul shaker!!

    Reply
  7. Enrico Pallatso

    looking for a rebound guy? you can help me listen to my best of night ranger disc

    Reply

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