I just realized what really bothered me about this comment: Who says I was the one who got dumped? I mean, I could have done the dumping. I could be stomping around Manhattan breaking hearts right and left. You don’t know.
Now, the fact that I didn’t think to kidnap my ex’s cats beforehand might give you some clue as to how prepared I was for the breakup, but that’s an awful lot of thinking on your part, comment guy, assuming that you don’t know me. Actually, it’s kind of creepy.
Which is why I’ve decided to pretend that that comment was from a vengeful ex-boyfriend who just couldn’t live without me. Not the most recent one. I’m not expecting anonymous hatemail from him for, oh, at least a week or two.