Jennie Smash

Everyone’s last name is actually McGee, unless they’ve had a haircut, in which case, their name is O’Reilly, as in “Haircut O’Reilly.” This is true no matter what the nationality of the person in question, or ethnicity, or what-have-you.

The first name is optional, but it should have something to do with their personality or habits, or refer to recent events in their life. This morning, for example, I was talking to a friend of mine who is a vegetarian, and I informed him that his name was “Ricedream McGee.” Shortly after that, we began discussing the fact that he is a godless communist (like most of my friends), and so we changed his name to “Ricedream ‘Che’ McGee.”

I am alternately:

Freckles “Fist of Fury” McGee
Complainy Complainerson McGee
Keep-On-Makin’-That-Face-It’ll-Freeze-That-Way McGee
Get-Out-of-My-Goddamn-Fridge-Right-Now McGee (thanks, Ricedream)
Yawny McNeedsaNap McGee
Fatty McStufferson McGee
Mrs. Maximillian M. “Mac” McGee

…and, after next weekend, hopefully…

Haircut O’Reilly

Feel free to add your own. We’re all McGees here.