Everyone’s last name is actually McGee, unless they’ve had a haircut, in which case, their name is O’Reilly, as in “Haircut O’Reilly.” This is true no matter what the nationality of the person in question, or ethnicity, or what-have-you.
The first name is optional, but it should have something to do with their personality or habits, or refer to recent events in their life. This morning, for example, I was talking to a friend of mine who is a vegetarian, and I informed him that his name was “Ricedream McGee.” Shortly after that, we began discussing the fact that he is a godless communist (like most of my friends), and so we changed his name to “Ricedream ‘Che’ McGee.”
I am alternately:
Freckles “Fist of Fury” McGee
Complainy Complainerson McGee
Get-Out-of-My-Goddamn-Fridge-Right-Now McGee (thanks, Ricedream)
Yawny McNeedsaNap McGee
Fatty McStufferson McGee
Mrs. Maximillian M. “Mac” McGee
…and, after next weekend, hopefully…
Feel free to add your own. We’re all McGees here.
12 thoughts on “Facts You Probably Didn’t Know … Til Now”
There was this dude that sat across from me in my very quiet office that would eat Burger King really loudly, at like 3pm every day. I hated him, because how do you manage to crunchify your burger, and also, ew. So I named him Crunchy McLatelunch. I guess we can tack on a Mcgee.
Freckles “Fist Of Fury” McGee
by a stranger as ‘wee’
To prove the gent’s error
She unleashed her terror
And now poor bloke just can’t wee
I’ll keep god-awful limericks to a minimum as best I can…
Cranky McFuckFace…McGee (that’s me)
I know I guy who I always call Big Dick McGee. Um, for no reason. No reason whatsoever. Ehem. I’m going back to work now.
Amber, when you lie, it makes the Baby Jesus cry.
Psst. Your Gawker account’s URL is borked. Remove an http.
I know! I tried to remove it today, but it didn’t work. Erg.
what if you really are a McGee? (I am)
Then you’re a hyphenate: Anonymous Posty Posterson McGee-McGee (Squared).
I work in a lab. I am a woman. They keep it cold. Thus, I am Fridgedy Nipple McGee.
(My stripper name is Barney Rosenberg – y’know that one where you take your first pet’s first name and pair it with … oh, nevermind…)
What you didn’t know about me, Mrs. Ladywhoabandonedmeinboston McGee (soon to be O’Reilly) are my following aliases:
Mr. Furry Scratchypants McGee to you sir!
Spongebob Hairpants McGee
Love, Spongebob Hairpants McGee