More Ma Smash

Me: I have a pain right here.

Ma Smash: Way high up there?

Me: Yeah.

Ma Smash:
That’s your liver.

Me: (Panicked.) What?

Ma Smash: Your liver.

Me: Omigod. Do you think I damaged it?

Ma Smash: I think that if you’ve been having lots of drinks, it’s possible that your liver could be sore.

Me: Ahhhh!

Ma Smash: And word to the wise? You only have one liver. Two kidneys. One liver.

Me: Why are you being so scary?

Ma Smash:
I’m scaring you straight.

Me: You know me. I won’t stop drinking. I’ll just worry about my liver while I’m drinking.

Ma Smash:
Well, then…

Me: It feels like a stitch in my side.

Ma Smash:
Maybe it’s a stitch in your side.

Me: It’s probably hepatitis.

Ma Smash: Oh my God! You’re probably right.

Me: Wouldn’t I be yellow, though?

Ma Smash:
I bet it’s Albino Hepatitis. You know: Your liver fails, but you stay white.

Me: You’re such a jerk.

Published by Jen Hubley Luckwaldt

I'm a freelance writer and editor.

4 thoughts on “More Ma Smash

  1. If it’s the upper right abdomen, I wouldn’t sweat it … A stitch in your side is usually just a cramp in your diaphragm, caused because there are several kilograms of organs that are hanging by just a few ligaments and you’re shouting or breathing heavily because of the excitement or to be heard above the music.

    But I just have one question… How do you avoid posting while drunk?

    That’s my biggest problem … getting drunk and spreading my opinion like AIDS on Africans …

    Do you password protect your blog posts or something?

  2. Jayman, how much do I love that you linked to the Vagina Monologues in your comment? Rock.

    Anyhoo, the answer to the not-posting-while-drunk problem is to stay out until you’re unable to type. That takes care of that problem right there.

  3. You should edit or delete my post, Smash-master.

    I’m insensitive, but even I have limits. It sounded funny in my head… I can’t excuse it but to say that I need to stay out longer next time. :p

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: