Me: I have a pain right here.
Ma Smash: Way high up there?
Me: Yeah.
Ma Smash: That’s your liver.
Me: (Panicked.) What?
Ma Smash: Your liver.
Me: Omigod. Do you think I damaged it?
Ma Smash: I think that if you’ve been having lots of drinks, it’s possible that your liver could be sore.
Me: Ahhhh!
Ma Smash: And word to the wise? You only have one liver. Two kidneys. One liver.
Me: Why are you being so scary?
Ma Smash: I’m scaring you straight.
Me: You know me. I won’t stop drinking. I’ll just worry about my liver while I’m drinking.
Ma Smash: Well, then…
Me: It feels like a stitch in my side.
Ma Smash: Maybe it’s a stitch in your side.
Me: It’s probably hepatitis.
Ma Smash: Oh my God! You’re probably right.
Me: Wouldn’t I be yellow, though?
Ma Smash: I bet it’s Albino Hepatitis. You know: Your liver fails, but you stay white.
Me: You’re such a jerk.
Jennie Smash 
Your mom is five kinds of awesome, all wrapped into one.
If it’s the upper right abdomen, I wouldn’t sweat it … A stitch in your side is usually just a cramp in your diaphragm, caused because there are several kilograms of organs that are hanging by just a few ligaments and you’re shouting or breathing heavily because of the excitement or to be heard above the music.
But I just have one question… How do you avoid posting while drunk?
That’s my biggest problem … getting drunk and spreading my opinion like AIDS on Africans …
Do you password protect your blog posts or something?
Jayman, how much do I love that you linked to the Vagina Monologues in your comment? Rock.
Anyhoo, the answer to the not-posting-while-drunk problem is to stay out until you’re unable to type. That takes care of that problem right there.
You should edit or delete my post, Smash-master.
I’m insensitive, but even I have limits. It sounded funny in my head… I can’t excuse it but to say that I need to stay out longer next time. :p