Ma Smash: Are you at home?
Me: Yes.
Ma Smash: At your apartment?
Me: Um, yes.
Ma Smash: Oh, sorry. It was so quiet, I was confused.
Me: ?
Ma Smash: Every time I talk to you, there’s so much noise in the background. I figured you’d given up your apartment and moved into a bar.
Jennie Smash 
My mom (from Iowa, bless her Midwestern heart) is absolutely convinced that my cell phone can only be used whilst driving the car. She asks me, “Where are you?” every time I talk to her.
If I say, “At home, ma,” she accuses me of being a liar.