Category Archives: parenting

3 Ways Becoming a Mom Made Me Less of a Human Disaster

A thousand years ago, when I was young and wasn’t planning on having kids, my mom said to me, “You know, you should do what you want. But I will say that having kids made me a better person.” I scoffed at that, but I have a baby now and I sort of know whatContinue reading “3 Ways Becoming a Mom Made Me Less of a Human Disaster”

Baby’s First Medical Emergency

If you know me in real life, you know that I’m a hypochondriac. One of my fears about becoming a parent was that I’d transfer this lunacy onto my child and become one of those moms who never lets her kid do anything, because germs-sharp things-dangerous machinery-heights-scary news stories. Instead, it turns out that I’mContinue reading “Baby’s First Medical Emergency”

It Turns Out That Being Physically Incompetent Is a Big Problem When You Become a Mom

I know, I know. Everyone claims to be uncoordinated. But here’s how bad it is with me: not only was in remedial gym class as a kid, but as an adult, I regularly injure myself by tripping up the stairs. It doesn’t help that I wear glasses and have flat feet and hip dysplasia (yes,Continue reading “It Turns Out That Being Physically Incompetent Is a Big Problem When You Become a Mom”

My Baby, the MMA Fighter

“This is her idea of a great morning,” Adam said, holding the squirming baby on his lap when I came up from my basement office to say hi. “Smiling at Mommy … while literally stepping on Dad’s dick. Which is what she’s doing right now. I think she’s trying to make sausage wine. It’s possibleContinue reading “My Baby, the MMA Fighter”

This Is the Biggest Parenting Nightmare for a Germaphobe

It’s public-restroom changing tables. There, previewers, I saved you a click. If you’re still with me, I’ll explain. Public changing tables are predictably loathsome. They’re in a public restroom, obviously, so they’re covering in filth both visible and invisible. Visible: actual feces, more often than seems reasonable or even possible. Invisible: IDK, C.diff? The plague?Continue reading “This Is the Biggest Parenting Nightmare for a Germaphobe”