Jennie Smash

I’m down four and a half pounds now. This is actual crazy talk. I’m in serious danger of starting a cult around this diet. If you see me in Union Square, wearing a sandwich board and ringing a bell, you’ll know what happened. (If you see me in Union Square with a sandwich, please make sure it’s open-faced, and phase one.)

I’m actually almost embarrassed that this is working so well, because I spent so much time dieting before and got exactly nowhere. Was I just secretly eating whole pies in my sleep, like my doctors thought? Option B is that this lady really knows what she’s doing, and I’ve become so cynical in my old age. DON’T MAKE ME BELIEVE.

Anyway, yesterday, a commenter asked me what I’ve been eating. It’s phase two, which is, so far, my least favorite (less favorite?) of the phases, so a lot of meat and salad, is the answer. I didn’t have time to make the turkey jerky, so I had hard-boiled egg whites for snacks. Breakfast was the Spanish scramble, and I actually went out for dinner, but had grilled chicken on spinach salad, hold the croutons and cheese. I ate around the tomatoes and carrots (not phase two veggies/fruits). I drank seltzer with lime. Adam took this picture of our bill:

But I did have fun, because I didn’t have to cook. I might have mentioned this, but I am not a great chef, even under the best of circumstances. For example, yesterday I broke the eggs for my scramble and accidentally dumped the yolk in, and while I was fishing that out, my onions caught on fire. It’s popular for dieting folks to say, “Oh, I won’t survive this diet!” But in my case, we’re seriously worried about me burning the house down.

In the meantime, here is a panda, celebrating my weight loss:

Image: Schoschie/Flickr