Jennie Smash

I have lost 2.2 pounds. For those of you who do not have thyroid problems, let me explain: this is a miracle on the order of loaves and fishes. Generally, on a diet, I can expect to lose, oh, half a pound a month. Also, just to get a little too personal for a moment, my period is due tomorrow. Which means that I should be getting plumper right now, but miraculously, I am not.

Of course, this could have something to do with the sheer volume of salty treats I’d ordinarily be stuffing down my gullet. But weirdly, I’m not really having any cravings.

Before you think I’ve chucked all my ethics and become a shill, I should tell you that I almost started weeping last night while preparing my high-protein snacks for today. If you do this diet, please take Haylie’s advice and do as much cooking as possible the weekend before. As Adam said, “This is a lot of cooking, and you don’t really like to do any.” He is correcto.

On that note, another positive thing about this diet is that it’s making me realize how much prepared food I eat. I don’t eat a lot — every time I have to prepare a food diary for one of my new, nice doctors, they sort of look sad at how relatively good I am, given how chubby I also am — but I eat a lot of stuff that’s already made. I’m starting to think that this is part of the issue. In which case, I’m springing for the giant crockpot, because there’s no way I’m really going to start cooking seven nights a week.