The Eye of the Beholder

Ma Smash, holding my baby book: Look how beautiful you were. All the nurses just gasped!

Me: And then did you get off their foot?

Ma Smash: Listen, Fresh Wax, you can make fun of your old mother all you want, but I’m telling you that they were completely amazed. They all agreed they’d never seen a more beautiful baby.

Me: Mom, they say that to all the new mothers, so that they don’t go crazy and start kicking over bassinets in the nursery. It’s part of their hormonal rampage prevention program. I’m pretty sure I read about it somewhere.

Ma Smash: Just look at this picture and tell me that isn’t the most beautiful baby you’ve ever seen. No, not the newborn one. All babies look like Winston Churchill when they’re born. This one, at six months.

Pictured: me at six months, with Jimmy Stewart.
Pictured: me at six months, with Jimmy Stewart.
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