It’s a Pirate’s Life for Me

It’s been 11 years since the last time I was laid off, and here’s what I’ve learned: Hangovers are way easier at 24.

I’ve decided to freelance, instead of looking for another job, because being a grownup is for the birds. When people ask me what I’m doing now, I tell them I’ve decided to become a pirate.

Other job opportunities beckon, however. For example, just now, I was getting dinner with Sgt. Lucky at the pub downstairs, and when I pulled out a wad of ones with which to pay the bill, he looked aghast.

“My God,” he said. “You’ve been so busy. How have you had the time to start stripping?”

“It’s been tough,” I said modestly. “But I’ve always been good at managing my time.”

“And you’ve been up late. Where are you stripping that’s open all night?”

“A terrible place,” I whispered. “And now I have … body lice.”

Yo ho ho.

Image: Time Machine to the Twenties

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