Ma Smash: Have you blogged yet today?
Me: No, I haven’t! Got something for me?
Ma Smash: I do. Do you know what my grandson did tonight?
Me: Cried a lot? Ate cheese sticks? Climbed the stairs?
Ma Smash: No. Well, yes. But also this. I was getting him ready for his bath in the kitchen. I took off his clothes, and his diaper and then I got distracted for a minute.
Me: Uh oh.
Ma Smash: He smiled at me and peed absolutely everywhere! Your sister was horrified.
Me: Oh my God! Did you freak?
Ma Smash: I laughed my ass off. Then Oz laughed his ass off, cuz Gaga [her name for herself, swear to God -ed.] was laughing, and everything was so much fun, he toddled over the other corner of the kitchen and peed there. Whereupon, I fell down. The end.