Drunken Mouse: well. it’s kinda like one time when [redacted] was all super chatty with Lady Mouse at last new years
Drunken Mouse: i was like time for my famous cockblock
Me: did you ask him how he was healing up?
Drunken Mouse: hahahaha
Me: “the sores almost gone? [redacted]?”
Drunken Mouse: well i was not worried but i know he just gravitates to pretty gals
Drunken Mouse: just, it can’t be mines
Me: “did the doctor say it was OFFICIALLY micropenis?”
Me: “or is that just like, an expression?”
Drunken Mouse: HAHAHAHA!
Me: “so … that means you’re a lady, right?”
Me: “you’re a lady?”
Drunken Mouse: that would totally fly over Lady Mouse’s head
Drunken Mouse: that would be the funny part
Me: “you know, ruelala has this sale on thongs…”
Jennie Smash 
You see, Ms. Smash, it is your inner evil mean streak that draws me back to your blog.
That and fact that in that conversation, I would have said exactly the things you did. Which makes me cackle with evil glee.