Short version: Because I was crazy. Long version: Because I was crazy and living in a city full of crazies. And all of us crazies think our drama is terribly important. Which only leads to more crazy.
I was thinking about this today, because I did yoga this morning and, as usual, had a mild panic attack during camel pose. This is apparently not uncommon. Camel pose opens up your chest in a way we’re not used to, especially if the “we” in question types for a living. But also, it releases all kinds of weird stored up emotions.
Today, doing my poor man’s version of camel pose (which probably looked to a casual observer like a normal person sitting up straight) I felt weirdly heart-broken and anxious, like I was about to lose my job or get broken up with or be forced to move out of my house. If you believe in this stuff, and of course I do, the emotions you feel during poses are emotions that your body has stored up.
So apparently, my body remembers all kinds of things my mind forgets. Maybe I should buy it some chocolates or something. Or keep doing camel pose until my body cries itself out.