Even Ma Smash Has Her Limits

Ma Smash: (About a mutual acquaintance.) Girlfriend? Oh, that’s right: She’s bisexual, isn’t she?

Me: She’s not bisexual.

Ma Smash: I thought she was.

Me: She says she is.

Ma Smash: You don’t think she is?

Me: If she’s bisexual, I will go right out into the street and have sex with the first woman I see.

Ma Smash: Oh my. Oh no.

Me: In fact, I’ll go over to the bodega and have sex with that one lady behind the counter who doesn’t have any teeth at all. That’s what I’ll do.

Ma Smash: I’ll give you five real American dollars if you don’t.

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