Jennie Smash

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By

Jen Hubley Luckwaldt

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Pale, Rested and Ready

I’m back from the wilds of San Francisco, where fleece is formal wear and it’s perfectly OK – nay, encouraged! – to look strangers in the eye and say hello when you run into them in the street. As is usually the case when I return from an extended trip anywhere, I am: 1) Suffering…

I’m back from the wilds of San Francisco, where fleece is formal wear and it’s perfectly OK – nay, encouraged! – to look strangers in the eye and say hello when you run into them in the street.

As is usually the case when I return from an extended trip anywhere, I am:

1) Suffering from insomnia. Check that timestamp!
2) Deluged with work.
3) Mysteriously on the rocks with the guy I’d been seeing before I left.

As for the last item, well, here’s the best way to sum it up. Yesterday, when things became apparent that things were in the ol’ shitter, I had the following conversation with a friend on IM.

Me: Will you come visit me when I’m in the convent?

Him: I will if there’s booze!

Me: It’ll be an Irish convent. There will be booze.

Him: OK, then. What’s going on?

Me: Oh, my God. It’s so boring. It’s so boring I can’t even go into it. I’m bored just thinking about it.

Him: I love boring!

Me: Boy stuff. The usual: “I love you, I love you, I love you … I will get a restraining order.”

Him: What happened?

Me: I dunno. Maybe I shouldn’t have called him “daddy” and hit him with a roll of quarters. It’s so hard to tell, though. I mean, how can any of us know what other people like?

Him: Hey, if he doesn’t like that, he has larger problems than you can solve.

Me: Right?

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Responses to “Pale, Rested and Ready”

  1. Anonymous

    oh jennis smash! how i wish you could be tempted by teh joys of sapphism (and i were in NYC to take advantage!)

    you crack me up!

    kx

    Reply
  2. Eric

    She’s Jennie: the boys love her, the girls love her and yet she can’t stop any of them from turning crazy.

    Reply
  3. Anonymous

    It’s only hot if you hit them with a sock full of quarters, like Charles Bronson in “Death Wish.” A roll of quarters, notsomcuh.

    If he don’t love it when you call him Big Poppa, then he ain’t a true playa, so thow your smashHands in the ayah.

    –Taupey

    Reply
  4. Capt Bonez

    maybe Ms. P let the guy know about you and Luke the dog. I mean you did look at his pee pee. That’s kind of like dating in some circles

    Reply
  5. honeykbee

    Never a shortage of faulty guys.

    Reply
  6. jayman

    Here’s hoping you finally get a good night’s sleep.

    Reply
  7. jayman

    Oh and “it’s perfectly OK – nay, encouraged! – to look strangers in the eye and say hello” … eww.

    Reply

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