10 thoughts on “Am I a New Yorker Yet?

  1. This morning the person next to me hit me on the shoulder and elbowed me in the tit. I did not speak to them, look at them, or even figure out their gender. I just calmly wished them to die a horrific death at an untimely moment and went on reading my Sports Illustrated article on Spring Training.

    But that’s just how I roll.
    ~5th generation NY Funke

  2. no, just an asshole who wants to be a new yorker. ask again once you pass the 5 year anniversary of living here. every one knows the key in those situations is to not even say anything back.

  3. On the Orange Line in Boston,inbound 7:30 AM. Smallish college student with a large back pack gets on. Train is very crowded.

    350 lb. woman sitting in 2 1/2 seats next to the door says, “I KNOW you’re not gonning to stand in my face with your big old sack of shit. Keep moving to the back, child.”

    Kid says, “Gee thanks, it really IS heavy.” Then dumps it on the lady’s lap, what there is of it.

    Lady says, “You are a monkey, child. No respect.” But hold the bag, laughing.

    Made my day.

  4. No, you need to give a dead-serious 5 minute lecture to your misbehavin’ bag…then you’re a NYer.

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