This is a weepy cold. How weepy? This afternoon, I called up my mother and left the following message on her answering machine:
“Mummmmy. Mummmmy. Mum-MAY. Mummy, Mummy, Mummy. Mum-MAY-“
Midway through, she picked up.
“Sweetheart?”
“Mum-MAY!”
“Oh, my goodness. Do you have a terrible cold?”
“Just terrible.”
“I could tell. Well, sort of. I mean, to be honest, I can’t really understand what you’re saying at that pitch.”
This proves what I’ve always suspected: I could just call my Mom and whine incoherently into the phone, and she would still give me sympathy.
Jennie Smash 
If i were to call my mother, and whinge incoherently into the phone… I suspect she would yell at me.
So good on ya.
The key is to be really funny while doing it. That way no one notices that you are actually whining.
It’s the secret to the Smash’s success.