This Ain’t My First Time at the Rodeo

I just cleaned my apartment for the gayest* reason ever. I was watching Mommie Dearest on Oxygen, and when Joan Crawford is torturing her daughter Christina by throwing Ajax at her and insisting that she scrub the already clean floor, I actually thought: “Jeez, I wish she’d send Christina over to clean my floor.”

SCRUB, Christina! SCRUB!

* No, I’m not using “gay” as a pejorative. Cleaning because of Joan Crawford is gay, all right? It’s gay. And therefore, great.

Published by Jen Hubley Luckwaldt

I'm a freelance writer and editor.

2 thoughts on “This Ain’t My First Time at the Rodeo

  1. Dad to fat kid on sofa: “Look at that Jackson boyu, all-state football player–you could beat him when you were 12.”

    Kid: Bruce jackson is gay!

    Dad: Well, lookin that Schwartz kid–top honors in science, goin’ to MIT–you used to tutor him in math!”

    Kid: Freddie Schwartz is GAY!

    Dad: At least you could be like McNulty’s kid–band leader, plays jazz too–you took lessons for years!

    Kid: Dad, do I need to tell you…

    Dad: Now hold on son, maybe we’re not on the same page–what is “gay” anyhow?

    Kid: Anyone who does anything I can’t do is GAY!

    –Alfred E. Taupey, who has total photgraphic recall of a 1977 “Mad” magazine, yet can’t remember phone numbers.

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