Jennie Smash

By

Jen Hubley Luckwaldt

·

Thanks, as Always, for Your Help in This Matter

As we know, I spent most of this weekend laying beneath my duvet, examining the particularly wonderful light that one only sees at high noon, shining through a cleanish window and partially parted drape, and then through a genuine down alternative comforter. (I’m allergic to every kind of mammal. And bird. Are birds mammals? Anyway,…

As we know, I spent most of this weekend laying beneath my duvet, examining the particularly wonderful light that one only sees at high noon, shining through a cleanish window and partially parted drape, and then through a genuine down alternative comforter. (I’m allergic to every kind of mammal. And bird. Are birds mammals? Anyway, I’m allergic to them.)

The debate here is whether or not this constitutes a restful respite from the everyday grind, or whether I should be seeking professional help. I’m quite reassured that most of you seem to think I’m fine. It’s nice when people have faith in you.

To continue this argument, I invite you to include your favorite slothful activity in the comments section. I’ll give you an example: I enjoy eating shredded cheese right out of the bag while watching true crime shows. Now you go.

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Responses to “Thanks, as Always, for Your Help in This Matter”

  1. The Bushophobic

    Law & Order reruns and Chex mix

    Keith Olberman’s “Today’s Worst Person in the World” segment, and a glass of Merlot

    The mini-DVD player in bed, under the covers, with the latest Netflix arrival

    Reply
  2. dr. dave

    your friendly neighborhood scientist says…

    birds are not mammals!

    (it’s the EGGS what gives it away)

    Reply
  3. Dave Przy

    i like to put half rum & ice and half cola in a giant [like one liter] blue plastic cup, get hosed and watch zombie movies. when i get hungry, instead of brains i eat pizza.

    Reply
  4. honeykbee

    Couch + Sweatpants + Sleep socks + frozen dark Rasinets = slothy bliss

    Reply
  5. Lisa-Marie

    In the bath with a large jug of bombay and tonic, a pile of books and a full pack of cigarettes (yuk , I know)

    Alternatively, Buffy reruns are like my kryptonite, I am helpless in their thrall and have been known not to move for days if on a buffy binge.

    Reply
  6. Jenny

    I never buy snack food in some bizarre attempt to stay healthy which means when I’m feeling particularly slothful I have been known to eat bacos out of the jar or even bouillon cubes. This is usually done while watching Lifetime movies or any of the I Love the ____ series on VH1.

    Reply
  7. Anonymous

    The hypnotic trance induced by “Roadhouse.” I am too lazy to move and get food and just lie there. Even though I *know* there is better programming to be had, I just watch…again, and again…

    taupey

    Reply
  8. amberance

    Wearing sweatpants, under a fuzzy blanket on the couch. Usually I am drinking tea or eating grated cheese out of the can, and watching true crime stories like Cold Case Files or 48 Hours. In the event my cat is laying on top of me, which is often, I will fall asleep from her purring.

    Reply
  9. Ghetto Photo Girl

    In bed, in only a t-shirt and undies, catching up on my poor, overabused Tivo and blasting through 14 episodes of crime shows. Intermingled with naps. Usually around 4 pm when the sun is streaming full blast through my bedroom window.

    I told you I’m a cat.

    Reply
  10. Monty

    I like to reread a book I already love while watching a movie I’ve seen 8,000 times, while sipping cofee with booze in it. The hot drink combines wonderfully with the pleasant buzz of unused brain cells dying.
    Also, lots of uninhibited farting.

    Reply
  11. ChicagoJen

    I, too, like to reread old favorites, specifically mysteries or watch Hitchcock movies on the couch in sweats. Food of choice? Some sort of nachos/dipping snack that I purchase on the way home and hide in my backpack in shame.

    Reply
  12. Overmatter

    Triscuits, mustard, and at least a pint of grated Parmesan. Whatever’s on the Game Show Network.

    Reply
  13. copyranter

    letting my cat Zippy massage my right shoulder for 10 minutes whilst I lie on the sofa watching hockey.

    Reply
  14. H

    I eat popcorn and watch UFC marathons on Spike TV while lazing on the couch.

    Reply
  15. Anonymous

    Staring blankly into space for longer than one would think is humanly possible.

    Reply
  16. tabsie

    I simply have to watch horror alone. Blacked out windows and 20 fags, oops sorry, cigarettes to hand and a bottle of vodka. Anything that passes as food is a plus as long as it doesn’t need an oven to bring it life.

    I also like to save my CSI/Law & Order watching for boxsets…I try not to watch them on TV so that when I get some time off I can watch them back to back and it's all new. Any Cadbury's chocolate is a plus!

    Reply
  17. kershdo

    Alton Brown’s Good Eat’s marathon on the Food Network and anything baked.

    Reply

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