Today is pure evil (via Gawker), so I hope you were all good boys and girls and went out drinking wearing your horns, as I did. In other evil news, I will soon be 30. I am not joking about this. It is clearly a sign of the devil, or at least, not-so-great entities who think it’s funny to see an elderly lady cry her mascara into the creases of her tired, tired eyes. But: drinks! Horns! Metal! Rar!