Weaksauce

The Mouse claims that I am “weaksauce” because I sometimes need to go to bed before, say THREE O’CLOCK IN THE DAMN MORNING. Because I am nothing if not proud, I offer the following rebuttal:

1) I have many projects. It’s true that some of them involve rearranging my paperwork and organizing my earrings, but they’re still important. Others involve writing. Mostly checks. (Kidding!)

2) This weekend, when I was preparing to go out, I found a two-inch long gray hair standing straight up from the crown of my head. Unlike my other hairs, it was perfectly straight. It looked like it had been stolen from someone else’s head. My point? I’m not weaksauce. I’m just old.

3) The Mouse is very silly and shouldn’t even be able to speak anyway, because he’s a mouse. Mice squeak. They don’t play the dozens.

4) ‘Sauce you, ‘saucer!

5) The end.

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