Jennie Smash

By

Jen Hubley Luckwaldt

·

Lazy Saturday

It’s raining and hailing, because the world is ending. (Don’t believe me? On Wednesday, there was a blizzard. On Friday, it was warm enough to have dinner on the patio.) In response to all this, I’m staying in today. I baked cookies and ordered food and tidied up The World’s Teeniest Apartment. The laundry guy…

It’s raining and hailing, because the world is ending. (Don’t believe me? On Wednesday, there was a blizzard. On Friday, it was warm enough to have dinner on the patio.) In response to all this, I’m staying in today. I baked cookies and ordered food and tidied up The World’s Teeniest Apartment. The laundry guy came and got my unmentionables, and informed me that he was nearly killed by a hailstone while having a smoke earlier.

“It’s like God’s trying to kill me,” he said. I would like to say, for the record, that my favorite part of getting my laundry picked up, aside from the fact that I don’t have to do it myself, is that the laundry guy is really cute. Also, he has a Scottish accent.

I giggled in a terribly grown-up fashion and demured. Oh no no no, I’m sure not. Tee hee hee.

(BTW, Anonymous Meanies: This is where you comment and tell me how dumb I am for even being attracted to men, and I’m supposed to be so smart and independent and what the hell and so on. You’re welcome. I live to serve.)

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Responses to “Lazy Saturday”

  1. Gorgonzola

    You’re my hero.

    I want to start getting my laudry delivered, but I’m so OCD that I would probably pre-wash and fold my roos so as to impress cute laundry boy.

    Reply
  2. taptaptara

    woah i wish someone could deliver my laundry…oh wait i have a washer and dryer in my basement, lol! scottish accents rule…have you been to scotland since our hs trip?!

    Reply
  3. Christine M. Parizo

    Aye, laddie, those Scottish accents curl me toes.

    Reply
  4. jayman

    I wonder if the accent is real or just a clever method to get tips.

    Next time you see him poke him or startle him or something. See if his “eep” comes out with the brogue.

    p.s. Attraction to service industry vets is excusable, regardless of your overall approach to men.

    Reply
  5. Anonymous

    I have no problem with this. Unless he’s wearing your underwear beneath his kilt.

    Reply
  6. Iain Mc

    Everyone has a scottish accent here so its not much of a big deal, but the weather is slightly more screwed up. Going out for a run in shorts (because of good weather) and then having to sprint home because of the hailstones.

    Reply
  7. Anonymous

    Dear Penthouse Forum:

    I never thought the letters in this section were real, but I am hoping you will publish this. I am a student at a large Eastern university, located in a large city. To make ends meet, I deliver laundry, which sounds weird but it mostly involves dropping stuff off with doormen. Las week, I had a delievery directly to a customer. She was very cute and had a delightful laugh. I began to ache for her and turned to leave, hoping I’d hear a stammered “uhhhh, can you stay a sec.” I got down to her foyer and slipped on a fan shaped film of what looked like mud but smelled like shit. I didn’t get laid, hurt my tailbone and my jeans have perma shit on them. God is out to get me or some shite!

    Yours, etc.
    sksqjfx

    Reply
  8. Jennie SMASH!

    OK, I’m dying to know who left this comment.

    Reply
  9. Jennie SMASH!

    OK, I’m dying to know who left this comment.

    Reply
  10. Anonymous

    jennie smash,

    Just a creepy Internets stalker type fan of your blog. (N.B.: I sear I am a good speller byt a poor typist and never edit my posts). See–“byt” should be “but”…

    Faithfully,

    gqpkg

    “GQ Package” is my word verification–you can’t make thi sshit up!

    Reply

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